Archive for the shoppin’ jp Category

OMG – Coke!!!!!!

Posted in controlling the masses, Hmmm, shoppin' jp with tags , , , on October 28, 2009 by pigsofdarkness

ohmycoke

Coke’s subliminal push for the 14 year old American girl market somehow ended up on the Japanese product.

Maradona-san – you did this.

Posted in Beasts, shoppin' jp with tags , , , , , on September 11, 2009 by pigsofdarkness

There’s not a lot more pitiful than a sad lookin’ pooch. & having his team on the verge of not qualifying for the World Cup is a sure way to give ‘lil Inu-chan a biggerthannormalforJapan sized case of the downs…

Maradona-sensei, Diego, if I may – if you cannot urge your team to qualify for the pride of the nation, or even for yourself – please do it for this little feller. We just want to see him smile again.

Happy Inu Year!

Posted in Bah. Winter., Beasts, shoppin' jp with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 13, 2009 by pigsofdarkness

I know. Puns are rubbish. And it is most certainly not Year of the Dog. And we are over a month into 2009. What hey!

2009 dawned cold (unsurprising, given the whole middle of winter thing) and clear, which happens a lot here and is much appreciated by myself. Shochu for breakfast (again, appreciated, etc) and a stroll to the Shinto shrine at the end of the street was the first plan of the year…

Others seemed to have the same idea. Fortunately for us all, the shrine was right where it had been last year. The vaunted Japanese efficiency comes up trumps again!

My atama may have been a little itai, but the sky was blue, the air was fresh, apart from the smoke from the fires lit to give elderley men a place to stand, and I was heading for my first dose of Shinto sake.

The first inu of the year is a corgi! Smashing.

The people on the left are attending a small shrine where you throw in a coin (usually a “lucky” 5 yen piece) and say a little prayer wishing for good stuff, like health, prosperity and a slightly more efficient family than last year.

My father in law (the taller one to the left) was highly amused by the antics of the small fellow, who in turn seemed quite entranced by the movements of the chap carrying the skateboard.

The main shrine up yonder was holding Shinto New Year services, where you could also go through the coin/health/efficient family ritual. As we did.

Light the fire, the old blokes will arrive. Actually, slightly off the subject of New Years Day, today we were discussing the geriatric aspects of driving a Honda Fit and surmised that to fit the Fit, as it were, I would perhaps need an old bloke hat (although the Fit has no parcel shelf to display said hat as a warning of slow, yet erratic maneuvering to the line of traffic following behind), a pipe and a tweed jacket, possibly patched at the elbow. In the interests of New Year efficiency (the 5 yen worked!) I have decided to settle for a tweed hat (unpatched) and shaking my fist at pidgeons. Even shook at a few pidgeons this afternoon. Quite a lark. Although I couldnt find any larks to threaten. I did however stare balefully at a crow. Because codgeritis hasnt consumed me fully, I can remember what I was on about before, so back to January 01.

You wouldnt believe how many Honda Fit owners I had to elbow aside to get this close to the fire. Shouldve brought along some pidgeons to distract them…

Inu Nichi! I wouldve thought that this fellow was much more worthy of entering a shrine than a corgi, but Im no expert. I cant really even intimidate a pidgeon…

Enough of this tradition madness – there are more dogs to greet and a mall to loiter at!

This is Yuzu-chan. She lives on the way to Glandbelly Mall.  A little pungent, but always good to catch up.

If you squint your eyes just so, you’ll look a bit strange. Also, you might notice that there is a Ferrari F40 behind the white thing. F40 lives across the road from Yuzu-chan.

Since you were wondering about what other cars we saw on the way to the mall, here is a Lotus Exige making all kinds of racket on the way to Minami Machida railway station. Almost at the mall now!

Turning to face the other way, there’s a New Year’s glimpse of Fuji San. Aki Mashite Cobber! I know, you want to get to the mall. Those two look like they have already been. Meh. We aint goin’ to shop yo. We goin’ to loiter.

Crickey. Another corgi. Wearing a Mickey Mouse coat.

Dork.

That’s better. A real dog. That pushchair thing in the background is not for a small child. In there is a pathetic excuse for an inu which most certainly is not keepin’ it real. Homies.

It was a pooch-o-rama on these here stairs. I tried to capture both with me soul stealer, but ended up failing with both. Pretty cool how the front one casts a tail shadow that looks like a palm tree. Not sure how many parties that trick would work at, but worth a try.

It seemed that several others shared our mall idea. Some even came without dogs. Madness.

Holmes here didnt even have a dog, but that didnt stop him. No Sir.

I guess a canine kimono has to be better than a pouffy little Mickey Mouse jacket.

You can’t see my dog because I put it in this bag! Watch me lift it above my head, because I’m quite strong!

This may be the dog version of a pink muscle shirt. Go the Rabbitohs!

Oh bloody hell. Some things you should just leave at home.

Almost Taiko Time!

Sure the photo is blurry. But you takes what you gets when you snap the Poodle of Darkness.

Oh yes. It’s Taiko Time!

I hadnt begun my pidgeon threatening campaign at this stage, so these two were safe for now…

This dude strode up and down the line of patronage, menacing the young and elderley alike with his manic drum beating and wildy contorting facial expressions.

Then he was joined by a tomodachi. No-one in the crowd was safe. Unless, perhaps, they were equipped with inu… Surely not?

Why not start the year with an ’80’s suburban cowperson revival? I could think of a few reasons, but why not follow your dreams. It’s winter, after all.

My guess is that little Fido here had left an unchi on the tatami and was being made to wear the Flouncey Blouse of Shame as a punishment.

I wanted to finish with this bit of awesomeness. Definitely less owls than pooches, in fact this seemed to be the only one at the mall.

Hoot!

Mmmm… Festive…

Posted in Bah. Winter., purdy, shoppin' jp with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 16, 2009 by pigsofdarkness

Given that we are now about half way through January, it is about time to post our Xmas day gaddings about. As Japan doesnt shut itself down for Xmas, I forwent my usual fizzy wine breakfast and jitensha’d my way into downtown Machida for a Nihongo lesson in the morning. In fact, I didnt touch any squiffy juice until after the sun departed these shores. Fortunately, being winter, that was before 5pm.

Our first port of call was Jiyugaoka. In the name of information sharing, I can tell you that Jiyogaoka was voted Tokyo’s most desirable neighbourhood, or, if you would prefer, “the most want-to-live city in Japan”, in 2008 (now get this!) by residents! Given that it is a totemo takai area to live, even by Tokyo standards, it is probably not surprising that the residents didnt vote it “most sucky suck of all sucks” or anything along those unfavourable lines. And it is very nice. I would live there. Sadly, I may never be that full of yen.

I still hadnt had any cake for Xmas (not that awful Brit style fruit rubbish – any cake goes here – Im partial to chocolate with whiskey…) and when Xmas day finished, still hadnt. I seem to have recovered quite well, all things considered. I really wanted to alter on the sign in the shop so it read “Sweet – Christmas”, but the missus is trying to keep my acts of public vandalism to a minimum. Next time maybe.

What a bitchin’ name for a hair salon! No time for an Eyelush treatment.

As I am a quick adaptor, it only took me about two hours to not have a funny turn each time a train rushed overhead. Others did seem more at ease.

Like this guy.

Hello Kitty! Ok – sorry about that. This was so cool – this area was seriously loud, & busy, with trains roaring past about a metre away from Felix here, but he (or she) wasnt bothered – more intent on giving PhotoOpportunity Boy the evils. In hindsight Puss was quite likely profoundly deaf. Urban Grittiness!

To quote the illuminated sign: “The way that a ball this store. Love a ball is, this store. Love a ball is, ORIENTAL PASSAGE”. So now you know.

If you consider the location, the street value of this tag is probably quite high. And that is an utterly nonsensical statement made because I’d posted a few too many photos without a caption. Check out how clean the area below is. Not even a cigarette butt, which is pretty flash given the amount of fag puffery going on in this land.

Lincoln Continental perchance?

To pilot a barge this size around streets this narrow you’d probably need some sort of guide boat. Later I even saw a Hummer H1, but was too appalled to take a photo. I mean really. The ridiculus girth of the Lincoln is more acceptable due to it being the automotive eqivalent of a porno soundtrack. A Hummer H1 is more of a Kid Rock ballad about an attractive teenaged cousin. Not that Im suggesting that Kid Rock has recorded such a ballad, simply trying to paint a picture, you understand. Word.

After such unholy musings, I figured that we needed a shrine. This was directly around the corner from the Lincoln. Ahhh… contrasts…

Apparently Top Gear has a retail outlet here, selling used watches. Who knew?

I cant confirm that the lower one on the left is Richard Hammond’s tag, but lets just assume that it is.

I saw these lighters and thought to myself “Surely not…”…

Surely does! Feel the heat from my twin nostril fires! Can you do any less? I havent uttered this is a blog before, but, Radness.

This place was cool’n all, but probably needed more bikes…

Watch out Xmas tree! There’s bamboo behind you!

Eventually the sun said “Screw you hippies!” and sodded off to China. And beyond. Cor blimey – theres another train.

And another.

This one was quite high & next to a skateshop, so must be Jeremy Clarkson’s tag.

Im not sure if this is a sign, or a statue, or a sculpture or whatever else, but when we first saw it, the boob thing on top was red. We waited for several minutes for it to turn red again, but nope.

So had to settle for blue, which was a poor substitute, but places to go, wine to drink…

This here crafty shopkeep had managed to trap a Microbus. Almost better than a Jeremy Clarkson tag.

‘Lil Bow Wow here had been howling up a storm and attracting quite a crowd, but as soon as I whipped out me pointy shooter, found something of great interest in the gutter. Meh.

My favourites were the golden Xmas horse and the earthy Maid Marion-esque Santa costume.

This street was very busy with people, but somehow Ive managed to not show that at all. Guess that’s what comes from lurking in the fruit baskets.

We found Castle Greyskull, but there was no sign of He-Man. Perhaps he was away lurking in some fruit baskets…

The widest street was right outside the railway station. Helps the taxi drivers perfect their mad dorifto skills.

Stop ni was Futako Tamagawa. And isnt that the Takashimaya department store? Why yes. Yes it is.

No time for manipulating silver balls – time for my Xmas drunkening…

We did go into Chanel. I think they were jealous of my Bad Brains t shirt.

Ha ha! Seahorse knobs!

This cool roof garden was part of a restaurant aimed at people far richer than us. I took special care not to fall in the pond.

Several other people chose to take the same train as we did. I guess they were all pleased that I hadnt fallen in the pond.

We found this at the Australian themed restaurant at Gland Belly that we stopped at for a beer on the way home. We were punished for visiting an Ocker caff by having to wait 20 minutes for a seat at the bar(!), then ended up with a booth. The waitress had heard me say “Sweet as”, so asked me where I was from. Turns out she had spent six months in Carterton on a school exchange. We both agreed that the stay was about 5 and a half months too long.

Thats fine, but what if you were playing Knifey Spooney?

xmaswilly

It may be cold…

Posted in Hmmm, shoppin' jp with tags , , , , , on January 7, 2009 by pigsofdarkness

…but Beard Papa is here to help!

With his pipin’ hot cream puffs!

Spooky desu.

Posted in shoppin' jp with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 26, 2008 by pigsofdarkness

It’s almost October 31. All Hallows Eve as you are probably aware. And being an American commercial trinketfest, it is all the rage here as well. But dont be too scared. These are only photos.

Our local outlet mall was on the case in mid September. Given that the English language L and R are for the most part interchangeable in Japanese and when pronounced can sound like either or a combination of the two, depending on who is speaking, “Grand Berry” is an interesting choice of name for a commercial enterprise in this part of the world. That said, I choose not to question these things, as that would possibly mean speaking to somebody “in marketing”, which would make for a truely frightening Halloween. Besides, I like to tell the in laws when I am off to Gland Belly. To keep them in the loop.

I like to think of this as a command, rather than a suggestion.

Heres a pumpkin on a pole. Kind of like a giant Pumpkinsicle, except that it is constructed of metal and fiberglass. And glass, if you include the lamp. And not frozen… Oh look! A banner with a picture of a glandbelly!

At first these dont seem very scary at all…

…but then, when every time you look to the side, there is another of the creepy little buggers gurning madly at you, perhaps they do have the desired effect. Didnt make me buy anything however. Apart from the cool little black plastic pumpkin with orange fangs. Hmm…

Today was a “Halloween Festival”, but most people were scared off by the rain.

Check out these two – running like the Zombie Pandas of Doom were after them.

Zombie Pandas of Doom. Heh.

Why of course this painting is for sale. Step right this way, my new friend.

Quite a few people were dressed up in Halloween costume, but I wasnt scared.

No. Wait. Yes I was.

Some of the neighbours have dressed up their houses. I like the fact that this place looks like a prison, but theyve put Halloween stuff there to make it scary.

These homeys just showin’ off ‘cos they got a lawn…

If you are tempted to say “Wonder if this keeps the bills away”, please punch yourself.

I asked Ponta to look scary, but I think she was lacking motivation.

Had to.

You may not have realised it, but your pooch is deprived…

Posted in shoppin' jp with tags , , , , , on October 24, 2008 by pigsofdarkness

…but this will make it all better.