Archive for September, 2008

This place needs more…

Posted in This place needs more... with tags , , , on September 25, 2008 by pigsofdarkness



Cone no Kurayami.

Posted in Ha ha! with tags , , on September 22, 2008 by pigsofdarkness

He was a cone, and good at his job. But he committed the ultimate sin, and had himself painted black against orange cones gone bad. Cones that tried to squash him, but got the cone he loved instead. Framed for directing traffic into a closed car park, now he prowls the street on blind, slightly uphill corners. An outlaw hunting outlaws, a bounty hunter, a Cone of Darkness.

On me bike, I was.

Posted in bikers of the kanto with tags , , , , , , , , on September 21, 2008 by pigsofdarkness

Friday evenings TV news promised that the northward heading typhoon would hit Tokyo on Saturday, so we expected wind, rain and all manner of calamity. Now youre thinking “That sounds exciting, but a little bit scary at the same time”, but dont worry friends, despite two of my Nihongo classmates being from the Phillipines, the typhoon stuck to the sea and gave us a warm sunny day. Ideal for setting off on your girls bike with a basket on the front and no sunblock. I decided to annoy the crap out of myself by stopping every few moments to take a photo. Kind of like having a camera crazed grandparent sitting on the handlebars, but with less flatulence.

Almost at downtown Machida, so first photo oppotunity. No typhoon, but some funny looking birdlife. Better take another photo…

Actually, I took about 10 photos of these chaps. They werent chickens, but the were pretty funky. Wouldve been a hoot (hooting chickens? Madness!) to see chickens perching up there…

These are the type of giant boxes that the Cos-Play kids get dressed up in to catch the train to Harajuku on weekends to entertain the squares. Like me. You should see my new glasses.

This is on the cusp (shall we say) of downtown Machida. The building with the Hotel sign on the roof is a “Love Hotel”, a venerable Japanese institution where one can take ones bit of fluff for a couple of hours, or a nights, hoo haa. The orange-ish building on the right looked interesting, so I decided to take some more photos. Turns out that is a Love Hotel also. Golly.

I stopped next to the orange lust shack to to git me some more snaps & turned to take in the view across the river. Yep, that pink stripey place is all matrimonial suites as well. My bike ride was more debauched than I had planned. Moving on, I want a giant 10 Pin on the roof of my house…

They go through those barriers pretty fast ’round these parts (Ha ha – I said parts). There is only a little truth to the rumor that when I was getting used to piloting a clunky old dunger of a basket fronted girls bike that I tried to speed though some of these barriers, clipped my pedal on the pole (ha ha – I said…) & crashed into the fence in front of some schoolkids. Its ok. The basket was fine.

Check out the precision shot with the placement of that train. Someone didnt crash into a fence today…

This woman’s sun defeating unbrella reminded me that I was sunblockless. Woops. There’s a giant snail on the Hubbahubba House.

More giant roof ten pins? Maybe there is more to Machida than the guide book says…

Careful! There’s giant Ten Pins up thattaway!

I bet youre jealous of this dude’s pink shirt.

It appears that he is a Definitive Surf Legend. I wouldnt have guessed. Those giant Ten Pins will hash his browns. To be sure.

Id taken some photos of this redecorated Z31 previously, but decided to stop and wait as the JR line to Yokohama is next to it and I figured that I could get some flash Train & Z shots. I ended up waiting for 20 minutes. And it was quite hot. Still, sunburn in Japan is a bit different to sunburn in NZ…

Meanwhile, the Caras’ were massing… Both of them. Ive never seen such massing. Well, maybe during the week, but not on a Saturday.

I even had a chance to point the camera across to the other side of the river. The passing locals were turning to look at what I was photographing. Im confident that they carried on none the wiser, except to trust the gaijin less than before.

It takes special attention to detail to factor in dark armpit patches to your blowup bull. Or perhaps a fetishist working in the Inflatables factory. Although you may think that they would all be fetishists.

The train! On time!

Ive actually posted these photos in reverse order. The train was heading away from Machida, from left to right. But that didnt fit with my vision, so I chose to play God. Mwwaaaa hahaha hahaha!!!!

After Id left the Zed behind, a slew of trains rumbled by toward Machida. In the direction Id wanted initially. Thanks for nothing (apart from your clean, efficient light rail service and courteous, helpful staff) Japan Rail.

I was managing to cycle about 50 metres at a time before an essential photo opportunity would present itself. So my ride was proceeding as if the fictional grandparent had downed 5 cups of tea at a rest stop.

Im pretty sure that when this fellow set off on his Saturday cycle that he wouldnt have guessed that the back of his head would appear on a blog where a sunburnt gaijin would blather on about imaginary incontinent handlebar mounted grandparents. Life aye? Throws a few curveballs…

This old cooter probably did have an inkling of the dubious merit of any blog that I might be taking his photo for, which is why he’s smiling so much.

Im sure this isnt a popular place to take a photo at all.

Its nice, but the photo needs a person…

There we go. Do you reckon that with a get-up like a Colonial in India, he’s probably a grumpy old buzzard who hates foreigners?

Just as I was taking this photo he was beginning to shake his fist and babble some indignant Japanese fustiness at me. Sadly, I was laughing too much to take another photo before he stomped off. Probably in search of elephants or Darjeeling tea…

It is now autumn here, but some trees like to flower at this time of the year in a Telecom NZ style tactic of confusion marketing. We shall hereby name it “Teresa Blossom”.

I felt bad, because I didnt have time to warn this guy.

But fortunately he made it past the Theresa Blossom. From a memory I attempted to repress, I seem to recall that perhaps Theresa Blossom might have knees unsuited to chasing weekend joggers.

Its Smileys brother! They’ll have something to talk about this Xmas!

Im told that if you have a house next to the bush like this, it can be a good idea to have a dog that eats snakes. Makes sense. Then you wouldnt need to feed the dog as often.

Careful! There are snake-eating dogs about!

What do you think she is running from? A snake? Or a snake-eating dog?

Thought Id finish with a sequence. After conferring with my imaginary incontinent shutterbug grandparent.

If, for any reason youd like to see all 127 photos I took on this ride, the flickr set is at:

Tokyo Kawa Baatteeruu!!!!

Posted in Beasts, Ha ha! on September 9, 2008 by pigsofdarkness

Ever wondered what the inspiration was for pitting Godzilla against other monsters such as Mothra and Rodan? No?

Well anyway, we werent thinking about Godzilla, or even Mothra, when we took some bread to the river to feed the Koi carp. Nor were we planning to initiate a Battle of the Species. Japan. Badder than Dennis Rodman. And looks much better in a frock.

This photo is a bit crap, but it’s a good intro as to how the fush go a bit bonkers when you introduce some bread.

Then we spotted the turtle, so threw some bread to give the wee feller a chance. A fair suck of the flamin’ saveloy as it were. Man – if Alf Stewart had been there, it would have been just perfect. Instead we had to introduce another local to the mix…

Koi versus Turtle versus Pidgeon Suuuuper Baaateeruuuu!!!!! This is the last time you’ll see our little turtle buddy before the Koi went feral, shall we say.

Poor Takumi Turtle falls to a seething mass of Bread Raging Koi! Is this evolution evolving (ahem) ‘afore our eyes?! Take that creationists!

As if we needed proof that pidgeons are stupid. This doofus seemed to think that just because he was able to breathe oxygen he could snatch the bready goodness away from the waterbound Koi…

Not Even! Nothing stops a Koi on a White Death Bread Bender! Water? Pah! Thats for trout & mullet. & stuff.

The pidgeon even decided to bring his “boys” down. Too late buddy.

Yeah thats right. You walk away.

We did see the turtle later, further upstream, looking a little confused.